Square Watermelons

Square Watermelons

Japan is crazy, man!  I stumbled onto a video of Japanese grown square watermelons  a year or so ago; it was so cool, I gave it a try.  I thought if it worked, I would sell my square watermelons at the local fall festival.  From studying the videos,  and pictures of polycarbonate boxes sold online for this purpose, I figured I would need a transparent, sturdy box.  Sounded like plexiglass to me.  But it would take a sheet thicker than dragon skin to withstand the Xtreme pressure of growing melons.  Thicker means costlier.  I poured out my woes to my landlord, and he told me of a super cheap plastic supply warehouse that catered to farmers.  I was there the next day.  They cut enough dragon skin plexiglass scraps for three boxes. If I used expensive metal hinges and screws to fabricate the boxes, they would surely be sturdy, but I wouldn’t be able to sell the watermelons for a profit.  So instead I wrapped the boxes with packing tape and wire and hoped they would stay together.  Each box cost about $8 to make, and held about 3 gallons–plenty of room for growth.  I gently enclosed my baby watermelons in them and waited.  Week after week, the  watermelons grew, and I watched with excited eyes.  But as harvest time drew closer, their growth stunted.  I watered them.  They rolled over and laughed.  I cajoled them.  They turned a deaf leaf to me.  By the end of the summer, they didn’t come close to filling out the boxes. Only flat on two sides, they looked like a Surrealist painting.  What had gone wrong?  Looking back, I suppose that making a box big enough to park a car in was a mistake.  And possibly growing “Mighty Midget” Moon and Stars heirloom watermelons.  Next time, I’m growing those Supa-giant, crush-your-kid-if-you-drop-it-on-them striped watermelons you can buy at the grocery store.  And those boxes WILL be filled to the brim with watermelon.  I hope.

Moon and Stars Watermelons.  The inset is one of my Square Watermelons growing.

Moon and Stars Watermelons. The inset is one of my Square Watermelons growing.

Square Watermelon Box

Square Watermelon Box

BoxHoles

BoxHoles

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